Yesterday's Big Bang

(Big Bang Theory. Sheldon notices the paint ball paint spot on "his cushion")

Early yesterday morning, I asked the boys to go brush their teeth at the same time. Usually, we don't do this because it leads to fights over who uses what sink. You see, the boys' bathroom has two sinks. I have always assumed that the one that had globs of toothpaste and junk around it was Lastborn's and the clean one was Firstborns. This state seems to reflect their personalities.

I was wrong. Very wrong. It seems they are both using the same sink. This seems to be the cause of their repeatedly forgetting who's toothbrush is who's; a fact that really grosses me out.

So much, that merely months ago, I threw out all children's toothbrushes in the house and bought new ones. This includes their electric toothbrushes. I bought every toothbrush color coded. Three red toothbrushes, three green. Lastborn chose red for himself because he was dragged along with me on the trip. When I returned home, I placed the toothbrushes, one red manual, one red electric on the right sink, along with Lastborn's medicine. I placed on one of each green toothbrushes on the left sink along with the facial soap that Firstborn uses. I then informed Firstborn that his color was green.

The problem is that Firstborn, is more concerned about which sink is his than Lastborn. And one day, Lastborn seems to have used Firstborn's sink and left his toothbrush there. And thus ensued the resulting big bang in the bathroom.

They were arguing. "No that's my toothbrush." "No. Yours is green." "No, mine is red." And so on.

I tried logic. Bad idea. It seems that Lastborn won't give up the red toothbrushes. I can't remember clearly which color I gave each kid. I can't even remember which sink is who's. All I know is that 2 months is too short a time for me to run out and buy all new toothbrushes again. They will have to share spit. But firstborn doesn't want to use the green toothbrushes. And Lastborn doesn't want to stay to his sink. And Firstborn announces to me, "The left sink is mine."

"Why does it matter?"

"Because it is the left. Everything I do is the left. I sit on the left side of the car, I eat on the left side of the table, my bedroom is the left one and my sink is the left one. It is who I am."

So cousin J, the next time he tells you that you can't sit there, understand that it is "who he is."