"I am an apprentice in wizardology. I am best at divination: I can tel how the future of the royal family is, and I am their loyal protector of their future. I am also the prophecy maker. I can tell the future by looking at the stars and ground, and seeing if it is common or not. I am also a loyal friend of Merlin. I am the guardian of the balance between good and evil. I am also good at stuff like potions and charms. I'm always looking for more adventures. I live wherever the wind takes me or the future (north, south, east, and west). The only thing is is that surprisingly, I am only an apprentice. "
It never fails to amaze me how he makes these words fit together. Although I have never heard of checking the future by looking at the ground and when I asked him what the ground looked like when it is common, he could not clearly answer. He kind of rolled his eyes at me like, "Mom. You don't know anything."
And then, just when you are thinking that this young genius is so advanced in his vocabulary, he reminds you that he's just a boy with phrases like "good at stuff like." It's important for a 4th grade boy to be "good at stuff like..."
Friday, March 30, 2007
One of those important stages in life
A couple of weeks ago, Firstborn's teacher pulled me aside from an after school program and told me that Firstborn was having problems seeing the board. So she had sent him to the nurse for a vision screening. He failed.
We made an appointment with my eye doctor and went last night.
Firstborn was quite funny. He was convinced that the eye appointment would require something (like a needle) being stuck in his eye and despite reassurances from both myself and the doctor, he had a very hard time relaxing. But he was still quite funny. He couldn't tear his eyes from his book to start the exam. Obviously, the problem could be defined at that moment as distance vision issues.
As she tried different lenses on him, he would provide a running commentary on how the letters looked. The question, can you see this better or this? didn't seem sufficient. Well the first one, the letters are smaller but clearer. On that one, the letters are in italics. She was impressed that he knew that word. Children of this generation are introduced to Microsoft Word before they are introduced to dictionaries. They know these words.
We found his commentary entertaining.
The result was that his vision is at negative 2. I have no idea what that really means, but he will need to (and want to she assures me) wear glasses all the time. I'm told this is a puberty thing. Boys can lose their vision at about 10 or 11. It came from nowhere. Neither his father or I have problems with distance vision related to anything but advanced age.
Firstborn was very sad about getting glasses before his appointment. He's already having difficulties at school with peers being mean. He saw this as yet another thing to draw negative attention. But after the exam and trying on the different lenses, his attitude has changed. He can see clearly now. I teased him that maybe the reason he doesn't like girls yet is because he can't see how pretty they really are. Of course this "grossed him out."
After the appointment, we tried on glasses. He wanted gold. The saleswoman tried to steer him to something that would blend in to his face and coloring a bit better. Right before we settled on a pair, Firstborn caught sight of some Prada plastic rimmed glasses. Fashion rims with thick arms in a butter cream and tortoise color. I think they were women's glasses, but the sales woman was having a ball with him by then. She let him try them on. He was convinced they were the glasses for him. So she asked him, "but what would your second choice be." So he chose the ones that the saleswoman and I liked.
Then we had to look into goggles (like these, but the red bits are white) since he will be playing soccer in 2 weeks. He loved this clear plastic and white trimmed pair of goggles. He wore them while we did the paperwork. Towards the end of our visit, he asked if he could wear the goggles all the time and just skip the glasses. This is a boy who didn't want to stand out earlier in the day.
So, as we are waiting for the saleswoman to swipe my card, Firstborn begins this story about what he thinks his father should make for an appraiser hat for next years Destination Imagination tournament. It is a typical Firstborn story with lots of detail interjected parenthetically into long sentences, all delivered in a stream of consciousness, without any form of punctuation, at the speed of light. Sort of like that last sentence times 10! Everyone in the office (the staff, the waiting patients, the doctors) stops what they are doing to listen. When he finishes, the sales lady sits down and says, "I can't believe you just said that whole thing without taking a single breath! That was amazing."
She takes my money and we leave. Firstborn is happy because he will be able to see soon. He finds the 1 to two week wait a bit too long. I'm glad he is happy and can see the silver lining in this. I think it helped that I pointed out that all the cool kids at school seem to have glasses. And he pointed out that his one enemy does not. So maybe glasses are cool.
We made an appointment with my eye doctor and went last night.
Firstborn was quite funny. He was convinced that the eye appointment would require something (like a needle) being stuck in his eye and despite reassurances from both myself and the doctor, he had a very hard time relaxing. But he was still quite funny. He couldn't tear his eyes from his book to start the exam. Obviously, the problem could be defined at that moment as distance vision issues.
As she tried different lenses on him, he would provide a running commentary on how the letters looked. The question, can you see this better or this? didn't seem sufficient. Well the first one, the letters are smaller but clearer. On that one, the letters are in italics. She was impressed that he knew that word. Children of this generation are introduced to Microsoft Word before they are introduced to dictionaries. They know these words.
We found his commentary entertaining.
The result was that his vision is at negative 2. I have no idea what that really means, but he will need to (and want to she assures me) wear glasses all the time. I'm told this is a puberty thing. Boys can lose their vision at about 10 or 11. It came from nowhere. Neither his father or I have problems with distance vision related to anything but advanced age.
Firstborn was very sad about getting glasses before his appointment. He's already having difficulties at school with peers being mean. He saw this as yet another thing to draw negative attention. But after the exam and trying on the different lenses, his attitude has changed. He can see clearly now. I teased him that maybe the reason he doesn't like girls yet is because he can't see how pretty they really are. Of course this "grossed him out."
After the appointment, we tried on glasses. He wanted gold. The saleswoman tried to steer him to something that would blend in to his face and coloring a bit better. Right before we settled on a pair, Firstborn caught sight of some Prada plastic rimmed glasses. Fashion rims with thick arms in a butter cream and tortoise color. I think they were women's glasses, but the sales woman was having a ball with him by then. She let him try them on. He was convinced they were the glasses for him. So she asked him, "but what would your second choice be." So he chose the ones that the saleswoman and I liked.
Then we had to look into goggles (like these, but the red bits are white) since he will be playing soccer in 2 weeks. He loved this clear plastic and white trimmed pair of goggles. He wore them while we did the paperwork. Towards the end of our visit, he asked if he could wear the goggles all the time and just skip the glasses. This is a boy who didn't want to stand out earlier in the day.
So, as we are waiting for the saleswoman to swipe my card, Firstborn begins this story about what he thinks his father should make for an appraiser hat for next years Destination Imagination tournament. It is a typical Firstborn story with lots of detail interjected parenthetically into long sentences, all delivered in a stream of consciousness, without any form of punctuation, at the speed of light. Sort of like that last sentence times 10! Everyone in the office (the staff, the waiting patients, the doctors) stops what they are doing to listen. When he finishes, the sales lady sits down and says, "I can't believe you just said that whole thing without taking a single breath! That was amazing."
She takes my money and we leave. Firstborn is happy because he will be able to see soon. He finds the 1 to two week wait a bit too long. I'm glad he is happy and can see the silver lining in this. I think it helped that I pointed out that all the cool kids at school seem to have glasses. And he pointed out that his one enemy does not. So maybe glasses are cool.
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
paint colors
Well. I've chosen the color for my new kitchen. We will go with Naive Peach. I really wanted worldly peach, but the real estate agent warned me that it might scare off the buyers.
Where do they come up with these color names. . .
Where do they come up with these color names. . .
Monday, March 05, 2007
Challenge words
Lastborn got a 100% on his spelling pretest today. So he gets the challenge word list. While I am proud of him, I really don't like the idea of spelling tests being graded in first grade to start with; considering that this is a new concept to them and that the teachers are already pushing the concept of inventive spelling on the kids. Some of the first graders have not mastered phonics enough to read at a rudimentary level, and letter transpositions are still common in first grade. So how are these kids expected to be able to have graded spelling tests already. It's not age appropriate.
So, I would be happy if my child got his perfect paper and then was not asked to take the test again on Friday. That would be enough for me.
But no, in our ever more competitive quest for the perfect genius children, it can't be enough. No. Instead, we must challenge the first graders. Lastborn was given 6 challenge words: Sentences, thunderstorm, freezing, contractions, directions, and cooperative. Tonight, he must look up the definitions of these words and write them down. Thursday, he must put them in alphabetical order and write a sentence for each one.
Now, Lastborn has not yet learned how to use a dictionary, and his skills at alphabetizing words are still a bit weak. The only dictionary we have at home is one that was issued to Firstborn in 3rd grade. While is is more basic than any of my dictionaries, the definitions are still a bit long for a first grader to have to write down. Just teaching him the layout of a written definition was hard enough. He sat down at the dining room table and cried as he asked me what he was supposed to do. Then, when I found the first definition for him, because there was no way he was going to navigate a 400 page book to find a definition, he nearly cried because he didn't even understand what the words defining the word sentences meant.
Let me point out here that the wording on this homework assignment was, "Your child's homework will be Monday night to find the definition of each word and write it down." Refraining from correcting her grammar, let me point out that this sentence implies to me that the work should be done by Lastborn, not me. It also implies that he should be writing down the definition he finds. The definitions in the 3rd grade dictionary are totally not appropriate for a first grader. For example: Sentence - A combination of words which express a though, beginning with a capital letter, ending with a period.
We will also ignore the inaccuracies of this flowery definition to express our horror that our first grade son, who's handwriting is not too bad for a first grader, but is in occupational therapy for handwriting/grip issues would have to write six of these definitions for homework.
Thankfully, halfway through, he figured out how to put the definitions into his own first grade words. Sigh. But will that be enough for Uber Teacher who seems to want to ever increase the challenge provided to her cunning tutees.
Methinks I smell a parent assignment here.
So, I would be happy if my child got his perfect paper and then was not asked to take the test again on Friday. That would be enough for me.
But no, in our ever more competitive quest for the perfect genius children, it can't be enough. No. Instead, we must challenge the first graders. Lastborn was given 6 challenge words: Sentences, thunderstorm, freezing, contractions, directions, and cooperative. Tonight, he must look up the definitions of these words and write them down. Thursday, he must put them in alphabetical order and write a sentence for each one.
Now, Lastborn has not yet learned how to use a dictionary, and his skills at alphabetizing words are still a bit weak. The only dictionary we have at home is one that was issued to Firstborn in 3rd grade. While is is more basic than any of my dictionaries, the definitions are still a bit long for a first grader to have to write down. Just teaching him the layout of a written definition was hard enough. He sat down at the dining room table and cried as he asked me what he was supposed to do. Then, when I found the first definition for him, because there was no way he was going to navigate a 400 page book to find a definition, he nearly cried because he didn't even understand what the words defining the word sentences meant.
Let me point out here that the wording on this homework assignment was, "Your child's homework will be Monday night to find the definition of each word and write it down." Refraining from correcting her grammar, let me point out that this sentence implies to me that the work should be done by Lastborn, not me. It also implies that he should be writing down the definition he finds. The definitions in the 3rd grade dictionary are totally not appropriate for a first grader. For example: Sentence - A combination of words which express a though, beginning with a capital letter, ending with a period.
We will also ignore the inaccuracies of this flowery definition to express our horror that our first grade son, who's handwriting is not too bad for a first grader, but is in occupational therapy for handwriting/grip issues would have to write six of these definitions for homework.
Thankfully, halfway through, he figured out how to put the definitions into his own first grade words. Sigh. But will that be enough for Uber Teacher who seems to want to ever increase the challenge provided to her cunning tutees.
Methinks I smell a parent assignment here.
Saturday, March 03, 2007
The best party ever
To me, the finest art in these fourth grade paragraphs is how to put these words together into a single plot. It's amazing what Firstborn comes up with. Really.
Remember the best party ever? Yeah, we had some great trout and cherries. The memories are still there too. The food attracted animals and we had a really fun battle against the wolves and monkeys. we battled them with axes, caught them with sacks and put them on shelves. We had the time of our lives.
Remember the best party ever? Yeah, we had some great trout and cherries. The memories are still there too. The food attracted animals and we had a really fun battle against the wolves and monkeys. we battled them with axes, caught them with sacks and put them on shelves. We had the time of our lives.
Friday, March 02, 2007
Adopting dog after foreclosure
Firstborn's spelling paragraph for 2/25/07
Today, I rolled out of bed; It was a special day for me. As long as I do all of my chores, I could adopt a pet. I haven't decided if it would be a canine or a feline, but from life experience it would just give me more pleasure. Then, still in January, I heard a startling discovery. They were trying to foreclose on us! Then I discovered the rare julip plant. I sold it for enough money to quit the foreclosure. I planted an acre more, therefore it will never happen again. I finally decided on a lovable red wolf. Then, an hour later, I got home and slept until another adventure arrives.
I love the way he always seems to slip his "life experiences in there."
Today, I rolled out of bed; It was a special day for me. As long as I do all of my chores, I could adopt a pet. I haven't decided if it would be a canine or a feline, but from life experience it would just give me more pleasure. Then, still in January, I heard a startling discovery. They were trying to foreclose on us! Then I discovered the rare julip plant. I sold it for enough money to quit the foreclosure. I planted an acre more, therefore it will never happen again. I finally decided on a lovable red wolf. Then, an hour later, I got home and slept until another adventure arrives.
I love the way he always seems to slip his "life experiences in there."
What's in Ohio
For months now, when I mention to someone the upcoming move to Ohio, the response always seems to be an incredulous cry of "but what's in Ohio?"
Yes, it's true that people on the East coast seem to think the world is flat and all falls off the edge on the other side of the eastern mountain ranges. Somehow, across this vast abyss of the central US lies California and maybe the coffee houses of Seattle. But other than that, it's just a great empty pit.
In the past, my response has always been "corn."
To me, that about sums it up. I have no experience in the flatlands. I've been as close as the western faces of the Alleghenies, and across the Abyss to California, but the heartland is still a mystery to me with only my father's childhood stories of the storms visible from miles away across the flat expanse to fill in the blanks. That and various stories of the dust bowl that do nothing to build the romantic image of the flatlands.
But now, after watching HGTV, I have hope. There is something in Ohio besides corn (to which I and my youngest son have an allergy). And no, I'm not talking about the giant basket thought I'm sure it's quite breathtaking. I'm not talking about the huge amusement park in northern Ohio either. It's duct tape! That's right. Duct tape. In Avon Ohio, the duct tape capital of the world.
So now, when someone asks "what's in Ohio?" I can respond confidently,
"Duct tape!"
Yes, it's true that people on the East coast seem to think the world is flat and all falls off the edge on the other side of the eastern mountain ranges. Somehow, across this vast abyss of the central US lies California and maybe the coffee houses of Seattle. But other than that, it's just a great empty pit.
In the past, my response has always been "corn."
To me, that about sums it up. I have no experience in the flatlands. I've been as close as the western faces of the Alleghenies, and across the Abyss to California, but the heartland is still a mystery to me with only my father's childhood stories of the storms visible from miles away across the flat expanse to fill in the blanks. That and various stories of the dust bowl that do nothing to build the romantic image of the flatlands.
But now, after watching HGTV, I have hope. There is something in Ohio besides corn (to which I and my youngest son have an allergy). And no, I'm not talking about the giant basket thought I'm sure it's quite breathtaking. I'm not talking about the huge amusement park in northern Ohio either. It's duct tape! That's right. Duct tape. In Avon Ohio, the duct tape capital of the world.
So now, when someone asks "what's in Ohio?" I can respond confidently,
"Duct tape!"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
