I survived the back-to-school shopping.

Today, I took the boys to Old Navy because they were having a sale on kids jeans and t-shirts. Firstborn is becoming interested in girls, which means that he is becoming interested in fashion. So this is the first year he has actually cared what I bought for him. For summer, I only needed an approximate size and a description of what's "cool." For winter clothes though, I needed him to try things on. Since he has grown 6 inches this year, I can't keep up in my head with how big he is.

And because I had to drag Lastborn along anyway, I had him try things on too. Both boys did well, only rolling their eyes a little when I made them try everything on. So, when we were done, I called DH and asked if he could meet us for lunch. The strip mall we were at was not far from the base.

We entered a very packed food court and the first stall we approached was giving samples of chicken teriaki. I allowed the boys to have some and Lastborn was in heaven. He even said so. The staff at the shop was so pleased with his response that they offered him more samples and more samples. So of course, we had to buy our meal there. Lastborn was happy with that conclusion, Firstborn warned that "if they had to try that hard, maybe they weren't so good. "

We sat down to an enjoyable lunch and bragged to DH about our purchases. DH suddenly noticed, and commented aloud, that the boys would be starting school in one week.

I did a little happy dance.

Lastborn stuck his lower lip out in a pout as tears came to his eyes, which then made him laugh because he knew he was being silly.

Firstborn told me I was being weird and everyone was looking at me.

I replied that all the other mothers totally know what I am doing and are inwardly doing the happy dance themselves.

To which Firstborn responded, "yes, INWARDLY."

Lastborn announced that he was going to live as a hobo because then he wouldn't have to go to school. He would live in the tree house during the week and come home on the weekends. And to get food, he would come to this mall and they would give him free samples of teriaki. He could live on teriaki. That would be a good life.

New Sneakers

Took Lastborn out to buy new sneakers. He is very hard on his shoes and runs through a pair in just weeks. This time, I decided to spend a little more and get the sturdiest I could find. My hope is that if his feet are comfortable, he will move more.

So off we went, to the new Shoe Department near the mall. He was bored at first and wandering around the store. This is a big stage for him because I have decided no more Velcro. The ones with Velcro are just too flimsy and he is lazy, so he doesn't keep the straps tight. He tends to break down the shoe because he wears them too loosely. He understands shoe tying on an intellectual level only. So I have been putting this off for my convenience. We have a week and a half to teach him how to tie reliably.

The real thing I love about shoe buying is getting those great new shoes on. When they fit right, and they are new, you feel so strong. It took a couple of pairs to get him to that point. He has wide feet. So he can be hard to fit, but we found a couple of pairs of 3.5 wide and he was in business; running all over the store. It's fun to watch, because it's how I feel when I put on a new pair of sneakers. But as an adult (and a large one) I'm not supposed to run around the store with glee when I put on new sneakers.

So, I let him do it. There were no other shoppers and the employees seemed to think it was funny. And best of all, he didn't run into anything!!!

On the way home, he figured out how to tie them on his own. He's not reliable with it, but we have moved from theoretical to practical here. It's a big step towards reliable.

Cheese grows on trees

Back at the Green County Fair, Firstborn actually asked me if I was planning on planting some cheese now that I had seen the garden entries. I don't know where he got this idea as there were no bricks of cheese among the cucumbers, beans, and corn on display. I stopped quickly and looked at him to see if he was joking. There was no sign of humor on his face.
I confess, my child thinks cheese grows on plants. I have failed miserably as a mother. At least the COSI show at school this year was on dairy farming. So Lastborn knew better. However, when the presenter included in his talk that Bessie (the life size, milkable model of a cow) and her brothers and sisters get milked twice a day, I vowed that my children would never be so ignorant of where their food comes from. I was under the impression that my sons had some idea of where their food comes from. They might not know that only the females give milk, but they should know that milk does not grow on plants!
Sigh.
A gaff like that can't be ignored; especially when it comes from a child who is so incredibly intelligent and intellectual. Certainly, the younger brother will not let this chance go by. He reminded Firstborn at dinner last night that Firstborn thought cheese grew on plants.
"No," firstborn replied, "it comes from trees."
He likes to cover up his embarrassment by making out that he is telling a great fantasy story. So making the gaff larger makes it harder to believe he seriously made such a mistake in the first place.
"Cheese doesn't grow on trees, it comes from cows," Lastborn replied.
"No, cheese doesn't grow on trees, cows do and cheese comes from cows," replied Firstborn. (Great, we finally got one right.)
At this point, I had pictures of cows floating on the ends of branches high up in the trees.
Being the insightful child that he is, he continued on. "And the buildings all have to be made of steel in case the cows fall out.
Now, I've got a visual of cows falling from trees. "That would make fall kind of dangerous don't you think? You couldn't walk outside while the cows were falling from the trees, and all you would hear all day and night would be splat, splat, splat, as they hit the ground."
At this point the boys are laughing. There's nothing funnier to a boy than cow carnage (except maybe toilet humor). So i continued. "Do you think the leaf blower would be useful? I mean it could only do so much in blowing the cow guts off your lawn.
Dinner was over at that point and now it is a given; cows grow on trees.

The city boys hit the country

In MA, I had no interest in going to the county fairs. There is no country in eastern MA, so what kind of fair would there be? Crowded, full of rides and games, but no real fair feel.

Now that we are in the heart of Ohio, it's time to introduce the boys to the good 'ole country fair. I had no idea how citified my boys were though.

Firstborn decided he was far too sophisticated to go to a fair. Lastborn could only think of the food. We attended the Green County Fair. Not that we live in Green County, but the Montgomery County Fair is in the city and it's exactly what I was trying to avoid in MA, though there would still be more livestock to see in Montgomery County than in any of the county fairs in MA. The Green County fair is really small compared to the Altamont Fair that I grew up with. They have very few events and the barns are newer and smaller. They did have some livestock judging which Firstborn decided was boring. He also decided that the fair was for people younger than him, even though I showed him kids his age and older who were showing livestock. He said they had to be there because they were showing their animals. No, you can't explain to a 12 year old that they don't have to show their animals, they want to. He was deep in his angst. There was no pulling him out.

Until I bought him a rare treat; Gatorade. We did try out all the fair food. Pizza (boring), corn dogs (not for Lastborn), a bucket o fries, funnel cakes and deep fried candy bars. We tried a game and walked around the midway, which was not quite open.

The best part for me was bringing the kids around the livestock barns. The kids showing the animals all smirked at my boys' comments.

"that's a goose? I thought it was a duck."
"I got a feather from that chicken thing down there with the feathers that fan out." (That's a turkey, son)
"What's that brown thing there?" (It's hog poop, son)

Lastborn loved it (except all the walking). He had to touch every kind of animal and was so excited to see a llama close up. I asked the teenager girl showing a llama if he could pet the llama. So he got to see it really close up. He hugged it's neck and petted its fur. All I could think of when looking at it was fiber! She had an alpaca too and explained to me why alpaca hair is used more often for yarn than llama hair. Lastborn also got licked by a cow and sneezed on by a goat. He was in heaven.

I think Lastborn wants to raise a hog now. After all, he loves bacon.

Both boys agreed that they were glad they had come because the deep fried candy bar was awesome.

Yesterday's Big Bang

(Big Bang Theory. Sheldon notices the paint ball paint spot on "his cushion")

Early yesterday morning, I asked the boys to go brush their teeth at the same time. Usually, we don't do this because it leads to fights over who uses what sink. You see, the boys' bathroom has two sinks. I have always assumed that the one that had globs of toothpaste and junk around it was Lastborn's and the clean one was Firstborns. This state seems to reflect their personalities.

I was wrong. Very wrong. It seems they are both using the same sink. This seems to be the cause of their repeatedly forgetting who's toothbrush is who's; a fact that really grosses me out.

So much, that merely months ago, I threw out all children's toothbrushes in the house and bought new ones. This includes their electric toothbrushes. I bought every toothbrush color coded. Three red toothbrushes, three green. Lastborn chose red for himself because he was dragged along with me on the trip. When I returned home, I placed the toothbrushes, one red manual, one red electric on the right sink, along with Lastborn's medicine. I placed on one of each green toothbrushes on the left sink along with the facial soap that Firstborn uses. I then informed Firstborn that his color was green.

The problem is that Firstborn, is more concerned about which sink is his than Lastborn. And one day, Lastborn seems to have used Firstborn's sink and left his toothbrush there. And thus ensued the resulting big bang in the bathroom.

They were arguing. "No that's my toothbrush." "No. Yours is green." "No, mine is red." And so on.

I tried logic. Bad idea. It seems that Lastborn won't give up the red toothbrushes. I can't remember clearly which color I gave each kid. I can't even remember which sink is who's. All I know is that 2 months is too short a time for me to run out and buy all new toothbrushes again. They will have to share spit. But firstborn doesn't want to use the green toothbrushes. And Lastborn doesn't want to stay to his sink. And Firstborn announces to me, "The left sink is mine."

"Why does it matter?"

"Because it is the left. Everything I do is the left. I sit on the left side of the car, I eat on the left side of the table, my bedroom is the left one and my sink is the left one. It is who I am."

So cousin J, the next time he tells you that you can't sit there, understand that it is "who he is."