My peers in the mothering world are beginning to navigate the world of orthodontics. And it brings the question to mind for me:
Why is it that we Americans feel we have the right to criticize the ancient Chinese right of binding a woman's feet but we feel no similar outrage at the practice of widening a child's bite or palette to make room for more teeth. In the end, aren't both practices for appearances?
One could argue that the act of binding a woman's feet is also crippling whereas the act of placing hardware in a child's mouth to widen the set of the jaw is to improve the fit and therefore efficiency of the jaw. But something about the practice brings the same horror to my mind.
We'll see how I feel when presented with these same dental problems in my own kids. . .
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Our retirement is assured...
The other day, I heard a strange rattling from Firstborn as he left the bathroom.
Mother: Firstborn? Do you have marbles in your pockets?
Firstborn: Yes.
Mother: Take them out. You can't take marbles to school.
He pulls handful after handful out of his pocket. Now the other side of his pants seems to be hanging low.
Mother: Do you have marbles in the other pocket?
Firstborn: No!
But there is a look in his eyes and the corners of his mouth are turning up. So I reach into the other pocket, and pull handfull after handful of marbles out of that one too. While pulling the last marble out of that pocket, I notice that I can still feel marbles but not in the pocket. These are cargo pants and they have pockets on top of pockets. So I go through the same process in both outer pockets.
I must have collected about 100 marbles from his pockets. No wonder he had asked for a belt earlier that morning.
Mother: Why do you feel you need to bring so many marbles to school?
Firstborn: I was going to sell them.
Mother: You can't sell marbles at school. You'll get in trouble.
You know how you get your best ideas on the toilet? Well, I do at least. So, I was sitting on the toilet a little later when the thought occurred to me. So I called out to him.
Mother: Hey firstborn! How much were you going to sell them for?
Firstborn: 25 cents each!
Mother: 25 cents! You can't sell them for a quarter, they cost less than a cent a piece? Who would buy them for a quarter each?
Firstborn: Lots of kids. I was giving them out yesterday and D and A and J all loved them and said they would even pay a quarter for them.
He's totally got the idea of loss leaders. 250% markup! It's a good thing he's generous because I'm going to retire in comfort.
Mother: Firstborn? Do you have marbles in your pockets?
Firstborn: Yes.
Mother: Take them out. You can't take marbles to school.
He pulls handful after handful out of his pocket. Now the other side of his pants seems to be hanging low.
Mother: Do you have marbles in the other pocket?
Firstborn: No!
But there is a look in his eyes and the corners of his mouth are turning up. So I reach into the other pocket, and pull handfull after handful of marbles out of that one too. While pulling the last marble out of that pocket, I notice that I can still feel marbles but not in the pocket. These are cargo pants and they have pockets on top of pockets. So I go through the same process in both outer pockets.
I must have collected about 100 marbles from his pockets. No wonder he had asked for a belt earlier that morning.
Mother: Why do you feel you need to bring so many marbles to school?
Firstborn: I was going to sell them.
Mother: You can't sell marbles at school. You'll get in trouble.
You know how you get your best ideas on the toilet? Well, I do at least. So, I was sitting on the toilet a little later when the thought occurred to me. So I called out to him.
Mother: Hey firstborn! How much were you going to sell them for?
Firstborn: 25 cents each!
Mother: 25 cents! You can't sell them for a quarter, they cost less than a cent a piece? Who would buy them for a quarter each?
Firstborn: Lots of kids. I was giving them out yesterday and D and A and J all loved them and said they would even pay a quarter for them.
He's totally got the idea of loss leaders. 250% markup! It's a good thing he's generous because I'm going to retire in comfort.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
