For the past few days, Firstborn has been sucked into the depths of Septimus Heap. He started the first book of the trilogy last summer and was quickly diverted back to Eldest in preparation for the Eragon movie. He wanted to have both books read before the movie came out in case they put some plot bits from Eldest into the movie. I'm loving his interest in reading the book before seeing the movie.
When he finished the first in the Septimus Heap series, we bought him the second because he seemed to enjoy the first quite a lot. By the time he launched himself into the second, we had lost him for good. Every second, this book is opened. He never fully closes it until he passes out at night. He walks around the house, book tucked under his arm, index finger marking his place. He brushes his teeth with brush in one hand, and book under the other arm. He eats with his finger in place. Placing a bookmark in the pages would take too much time from reading the book.
He has given up on our get ready by yourself challenge. The challenge was that if he proved to me he could get ready on his own in the morning with no nagging, he could start playing video games in the morning after he is ready and before school. He doesn't care anymore. He would rather read and be nagged.
That whole thing got me thinking. I know countless mothers who refuse to buy their kids game systems for fear that they will become addicted. I know countless more who routinely take the systems away from their kids because the kids can't control their obsessive desire to play. They can't understand why a child would give up outside playtime for a game system.
I know no mothers who feel the same way about books. It's acceptable in this world to roll your eyes skyward and say "That's just johhny. He loves his books." But no one feels the same way about gaming systems. Yet it is the same reaction I seen in Firstborn with his books. He is obsessed. He can't wait to read. His teacher threatens to take away his books until reading time.
The media has certainly done a good job of demonizing video games. You play too much and you will end up with CTS or tendinitis. You play too much and you'll get a blood clot! Have you ever heard of someone warning against reading in one position because you might get a blood clot? Never. I guess it's OK if a 10 year old dies from a stroke while reading because at least he was using his mind. Right? And believe me, if firstborn doesn't learn to use something other than his finger as a place marker, he is definitely gonna hurt some tendon somewhere.
It is very difficult not to react negatively to our children's obsessive compulsive behaviors. But it can be interesting when you put them into perspective.
Friday, May 11, 2007
Shock the chiropractor
Recently, Lastborn's teacher has begun a campaign to have him put on ADD drugs. Now, she is fully unqualified to do this and she knows just how far she can go in this pursuit. But luckily, so do I. Believe me, if I felt that he needed the drugs, I would put him on them.
However, recognizing that her job is not easy (remember, there is a reason I dubbed him Lastborn in this blog), I am pursuing ways of making her life more wonderful that stop short of placing him on meds. To that end, I attempted to bring him to a wonderful chiropractor. Not that I feel that chiropractic cures everything, but if his wriggling is the result of a sore spine, let's just get that fixed and move on with life.
Lastborn was far from the compliant patient. The whole experience left him so nervous that I was beginning to give those meds a second look.
He would not sit still, he would not listen. Overall, he presented worse than what the teacher was describing. While I joke about Lastborn's behavior, one of the reasons why he is still alive after these last 7 years is because he never acts this way for me.
Of course, a visit like this is bound to provide blog quotes. Isn't it?
The chiropractor had this wonderful life size replica of a spine with little rubber tubes standing in for nerves. Lastborn was fascinated and began asking questions. Was it real? Was it the spine of a snake? Did he remove that spine from one of his patients? The chiropractor was patiently responding to these questions and enjoying the whole interaction until Lastborn popped out the following quote:"
I saw a real spine once and I touched its wiener!
I looked over the table to where the chiropractor was covering his face with his hand, his body jerking slightly with suppressed laughter.
"Something tells me you don't hear that from all your patients." I said.
At that point, he lost all semblance of composure and told me that his wife should really get a look at this one.
That statement left me wondering if maybe he and his wife had a fight that morning and he was just thinking of a rare and unique way of getting her back or if he wanted to just share the "joy" of this rare child.
We'll find out next week. . .
However, recognizing that her job is not easy (remember, there is a reason I dubbed him Lastborn in this blog), I am pursuing ways of making her life more wonderful that stop short of placing him on meds. To that end, I attempted to bring him to a wonderful chiropractor. Not that I feel that chiropractic cures everything, but if his wriggling is the result of a sore spine, let's just get that fixed and move on with life.
Lastborn was far from the compliant patient. The whole experience left him so nervous that I was beginning to give those meds a second look.
He would not sit still, he would not listen. Overall, he presented worse than what the teacher was describing. While I joke about Lastborn's behavior, one of the reasons why he is still alive after these last 7 years is because he never acts this way for me.
Of course, a visit like this is bound to provide blog quotes. Isn't it?
The chiropractor had this wonderful life size replica of a spine with little rubber tubes standing in for nerves. Lastborn was fascinated and began asking questions. Was it real? Was it the spine of a snake? Did he remove that spine from one of his patients? The chiropractor was patiently responding to these questions and enjoying the whole interaction until Lastborn popped out the following quote:"
I saw a real spine once and I touched its wiener!
I looked over the table to where the chiropractor was covering his face with his hand, his body jerking slightly with suppressed laughter.
"Something tells me you don't hear that from all your patients." I said.
At that point, he lost all semblance of composure and told me that his wife should really get a look at this one.
That statement left me wondering if maybe he and his wife had a fight that morning and he was just thinking of a rare and unique way of getting her back or if he wanted to just share the "joy" of this rare child.
We'll find out next week. . .
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Growing Up, Growing Out?
The problem with a kid like firstborn is that in his efforts to fit in and adapt to his world, data gets lost. On the one hand, this makes my life infinately easier. On the other, it makes his infinately harder.
Firstborn has always been able to come up with adaptive behaviors. So much so that before we had him professionally tested for SI, he didn't look much like an SI kid. And when we did look at behaviors, I would never have marked him as defensive. He seemed more seeking or mixed to me than defensive.
That was one of the wonderful things about testing. I was able to learn that some of his behaviors were covering up a deep defensiveness. Take for example the fact that Firstborn never commented on smells. It's not that he couldn't smell things. Quite on the contrary, he could smell only too well. But his lack of reaction or commenting on smells stemmed from his efforts to ignore something that bothered him.
Another example is in the handwriting arena. I thought he had good handwriting in K and first grade. Indeed, it looked very nice. The problem was, he was gripping the pencil really hard and pressing down really hard in order to numb his fingers so that he wouldn't have to feel the touch of the pencil. Hmmm. The imprint goes through 6 sheets of paper and the edges of the sheet curl up.
As Firstborn grows up, he learns new coping skills. It's easy to think he is growing out of this disorder. His nervous system is catching up or exposure to sensory input is increasing his ability to organize his reactions. I find, however, that I really need to be more aware and open with him, because in some cases, he is simply internalizing his differences and developing conclusions that might not be true.
Take yesterday, for example. One of our first really warm days and both boys were wearing shorts and short sleaved shirts. As a toddler, these transitions would bring one or two rough mornings as Firstborn struggled to organize in his brain the new input of the different clothing. Either he was feeling breezes on his hairs that he could neither ignore or reconcile or he was feeling the touch of fabric on his skin. I have not heard the complaints since he has been able to dress himself, but I do notice a reluctance to change seasons. I figured that the SI issues were the main reason for this, but he insisted that fashion was driving his clothing decisions.
Yesterday though, that cover was blown. He complained about his shorts being too short. They hung just above his knees. Shorter than the current fashion, but not short enough to be mocked by his peers. So I asked him why he thought they were too short.
"It feels funny," he replied. I can feel the wind on my hairs.
So I explained SI to him and why it made him feel funny. My hope is that in understanding what is going on with him, he can logically work his mind around some of the new sensations. I also hope that he will be able to communicate with me when sensory input is bothering him. I told him about when he was a toddler and would throw tantrums pulling his sleeved down to his wrists to avoid the feeling of air on his arms. He thought that was pretty funny.
So while he is growing up, he's not really growing out of SI.
Firstborn has always been able to come up with adaptive behaviors. So much so that before we had him professionally tested for SI, he didn't look much like an SI kid. And when we did look at behaviors, I would never have marked him as defensive. He seemed more seeking or mixed to me than defensive.
That was one of the wonderful things about testing. I was able to learn that some of his behaviors were covering up a deep defensiveness. Take for example the fact that Firstborn never commented on smells. It's not that he couldn't smell things. Quite on the contrary, he could smell only too well. But his lack of reaction or commenting on smells stemmed from his efforts to ignore something that bothered him.
Another example is in the handwriting arena. I thought he had good handwriting in K and first grade. Indeed, it looked very nice. The problem was, he was gripping the pencil really hard and pressing down really hard in order to numb his fingers so that he wouldn't have to feel the touch of the pencil. Hmmm. The imprint goes through 6 sheets of paper and the edges of the sheet curl up.
As Firstborn grows up, he learns new coping skills. It's easy to think he is growing out of this disorder. His nervous system is catching up or exposure to sensory input is increasing his ability to organize his reactions. I find, however, that I really need to be more aware and open with him, because in some cases, he is simply internalizing his differences and developing conclusions that might not be true.
Take yesterday, for example. One of our first really warm days and both boys were wearing shorts and short sleaved shirts. As a toddler, these transitions would bring one or two rough mornings as Firstborn struggled to organize in his brain the new input of the different clothing. Either he was feeling breezes on his hairs that he could neither ignore or reconcile or he was feeling the touch of fabric on his skin. I have not heard the complaints since he has been able to dress himself, but I do notice a reluctance to change seasons. I figured that the SI issues were the main reason for this, but he insisted that fashion was driving his clothing decisions.
Yesterday though, that cover was blown. He complained about his shorts being too short. They hung just above his knees. Shorter than the current fashion, but not short enough to be mocked by his peers. So I asked him why he thought they were too short.
"It feels funny," he replied. I can feel the wind on my hairs.
So I explained SI to him and why it made him feel funny. My hope is that in understanding what is going on with him, he can logically work his mind around some of the new sensations. I also hope that he will be able to communicate with me when sensory input is bothering him. I told him about when he was a toddler and would throw tantrums pulling his sleeved down to his wrists to avoid the feeling of air on his arms. He thought that was pretty funny.
So while he is growing up, he's not really growing out of SI.
Monday, May 07, 2007
I love freecycle
Fusebeads
Shelf unit
Golf shoes
Quilting material
babyfood jars
coffee cans
magazines on RC airplanes
A church pew
All things that have found a home on Freecycle in the past few months. This weekend especially we have been frantically freecycling. It is amazing what we have a hard time getting rid of. the baby food jars for example. Why we saved 2 boxes full of baby food jars is beyond me. They had 6 years of dust on them. DH was unwilling to part with them at first. But then when he heard the stories the recipients told him about why they were taking the items, he realized that it would be much better to give them away than carefully wrap hundreds of tiny jars for the move. After all, if he really finds he needs baby food jars once we get to Dayton, well, there's always Freecycle!
Shelf unit
Golf shoes
Quilting material
babyfood jars
coffee cans
magazines on RC airplanes
A church pew
All things that have found a home on Freecycle in the past few months. This weekend especially we have been frantically freecycling. It is amazing what we have a hard time getting rid of. the baby food jars for example. Why we saved 2 boxes full of baby food jars is beyond me. They had 6 years of dust on them. DH was unwilling to part with them at first. But then when he heard the stories the recipients told him about why they were taking the items, he realized that it would be much better to give them away than carefully wrap hundreds of tiny jars for the move. After all, if he really finds he needs baby food jars once we get to Dayton, well, there's always Freecycle!
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