The real story

I just got a call from the secretary at school:

Secretary: Hi, Mrs Scalzi. This is Mrs. K from the school.
Me: Hello?
Secretary: Don't worry, the boys are fine. I'm calling because Ms. Principal would like you to sign some certificates she had made up for the DI participants.

Inwardly, I'm laughing. You see, the first thing that came to mind when she announced who she was didn't include. "Oh no, what happened the boys." It was more like, "Oh no, what did they do now."

My sister has this theory that whenever you get two or more boys in a room together without supervision, the dumbest idea wins. Well, with my boys, sometimes this happens even with supervision.

And it definitely doesn't have to happen in a room. Take last night for example. . .

At about 5:00, I got a call from the Accordion Player's mother (we'll call her APM).
APM: Did Firstborn tell you about the lake?
Me: No.
APM: I was afraid of that. Well, Accordion Player came home sopping wet from head to toe. Of course, I had to ask him how he got that way, and by asking some detailed questions, I have determined that they came across some body of water out in the woods. Well, one thing led to another and, of course, my son fell in.
Me: Funny. Firstborn didn't mention anything about it.
APM: Accordion Player said they were all going to tell their parents, but I wanted to make sure. I didn't know about any water back there.
Me: Nor did I. I know it's a dry creek bed, so maybe from all the rain, there is a puddle.
APM: Well, this must be bigger than a puddle because Accordion Player said he had a hard time getting out and Dr. Phil (the kid across the street) had to fish him out with a stick. He said something about feeling something swimming in there with him.
Me: Oh my. I will definitely talk to Firstborn about this and I'm thinking we are going to have to take a break from the woods for a while.
APM: That's what I'm thinking. Accordion Player's dad (we'll call him APD) is going to take a walk out there to see what this body of water is tonight. Would you like Firstborn's father to go too?
Me: I'd like that. I'd like to see what they are up to.

Fast forward to later that night. We are sitting at dinner when APM calls again to tell me that APD and Accordion Player are going out now to check out where the kids are playing. It's pouring out. DH is not happy about going out then, but we are all thinking this is a temporary puddle in a natural watershed area. So, we should look while it is wet out.

APD comes by with Accordion Player and Accordion Player's big brother. Now, APD is a big guy. He's rather tall and a bit overweight. He doesn't look like a hiker. He has the posture of a tall man who gets little exercise. I watch them start the trek out in the back yard through the dry creek bed (yes, it's still dry). The boys are scurrying in the lead, their bright Midwestern blond hair illuminating the twilight shadows. Further and further behind, I see DH's and APD's shadowy forms struggling to keep up. I realize that DH has taken this trek before and knows fully well the footing in the area. APD on the other hand, has never been back in the woods. This should be fun.

A half hour later, they are at the front door and DH is asking for my keys. The "water" is all the way by the main road near our development. A good half mile from the house. They can't get there on foot due to age and wet footing. So they are driving around to the main road to check it out. Apparently, on the trek, both DH and APD had each slipped once in the mud. This is why DH had decided to drive around the long way to explore.

The "water" turns out to be a nearby creek which drys up to a mere trickle in the summer, but swells with all the water we are having. It's surrounded by wetland. Not great footing even in summer. It's a fair piece from our house and they never should have wandered that far anyway.

So while DH and the guys are out getting really wet, I'm asking Firstborn what really happened.
Here's the story as told by Firstborn:

We went to check out a new area that Scottie (15 and old enough to know better) showed Accordion Player. It's got this big lake and we were exploring around there.

There was this log floating on the water and Dr. Phil carefully climbed onto it and balanced for a bit. So Accordion Player thought he would do the same, but the sand under his foot slipped (the area is surrounded by fine dirt carried downstream by the swelling waters. The water has receded, so this silt is remaining around the banks of the creek). So, he had to jump from the land to the log and it was too much and the log bobbed a couple of times and then went under with Accordion Player. (Why is it that I can imagine the look on Accordion Player's face as he went into the drink?)

Me: APM says that he had a hard time getting out.

Firstborn: I don't think so. He got out.

Me: But Dr. Phil had to hand him a stick.

Firstborn: Well ya. He did. But that was because Accordion Player was scared. (with a big smile) He said something was swimming around in there with him. (Oh great.)

So, this morning. The three errant boys were trading their versions of what had happened, and another twist to the story came out.

Apparently, when Accordion Player had announced that something was swimming around in the water with him, Firstborn had suggested that maybe it was an alligator. Dr. Phil, who's usually the most level headed in the group (wait, wasn't he the first to go out on the log?), corrected Firstborn telling him that an alligator couldn't survive the temperatures here in Ohio.

Firstborn argued back that his teacher had told them about people bringing alligators back from Florida and letting them loose when they got too big. I have got to have a talk with that teacher. Firstborn believes every single story he tells. Few of them are true.

Accordion player is pretty sure he felt a snake. Dr. Phil is more convinced it was a fish. Overall, none of them seem to understand the danger they might have been in horsing around near water a half mile hard trek from home.

It was quite the adventure and you can probably see now why I worry when the secretary at the school calls.



About the cast of characters:
Firstborn, you know well.
Accordion Player is a neighbor from the cul-de-sac down the street. He is white haired and slim, plays the accordion, and loves Weird Al Yankovic and Heywood Banks. Always quick with a joke or a one liner, he spends his live teetering on the precipice of danger and never quite falling in the drink. Until yesterday. Usually he has just enough judgement to keep himself safe and we have taught Firstborn not to follow him into danger. Just enjoy the show.

Dr. Phil lives directly across from us. He is intellegent and quiet. He is serious and tries to do well at everything he does. Talks well with adults and is usually the one we count on to be the voice or reason. I call him Dr. Phil because he seems like such a scholar.

APD and APM, the much-too-stressed parents of Accordion player. Each of them host a great sense of humor which is necessary when raising a boy like Accordion player. They are not overly protective but know they need to keep an eye on this child.