Giving away the ending

So, at this point it is time to admit that I let the kids watch way too much TV to earn me a place in the mommy hall-of-fame. Here's my reasoning:

• Everyone else does it...
• It's DHs fault!
• DH has always watched hours and hours of TV and he's a Genius, I tell you!
• If you ever heard my children talking you would understand why a few hours of silence in this household while they rot their brains away is worth the resultant loss of IQ.
• Only the little on is pudgy. The older one is skinny. So statistically, TV doesn't cause obesity. I know, small sample size, but I'm trying to justify here, not give real data.

So all this is background to the story. Yesterday, I had much to do. So did DH. Children are not too conducive to getting things done. Luckily, Firstborn was off playing with next-door-neighbor-boy. So we just had to account for Lastborn.

Perfect! DH had rented Mega Blocks Dragons Fire & Ice, the movie from Blockbuster. A perfect day all around. We heard not a word from him as he watched the movie over and over again.

Later that evening, we enticed Firstborn through his dinner and bath with a promise of watching the movie. The plan was that Lastborn would be able to take a bath and then join the rest of us for the remainder of the movie, since Lastborn had already watched it a few times.

As soon as Lastborn entered the room, he started talking about what would happen next in the movie. A very annoying habit both boys have. They tend to watch just about everything multiple times. And they want to let the world know how much they know about each show they have watched. We are constantly on Firstborn's case about not doing this and now Lastborn finally had a chance to participate in spoiling the ending.

Firstborn: Stop telling me what's going to happen!

Lastborn: I'm just giving you some information!

Ah! They are both born engineers. Information. That rules all. If you're giving information, it does not matter how annoying you are. It's information!

I understand that in the deep south, as long as you bless someone or invoke the name of Jesus, you can get away with some of the most horrible insults. For example:

"She is an ugly little girl, bless her soul."

"Why bless you, you don't think you will actually find a husband do you?"

"In Jesus' name, I hope she dies an ugly death."

These are all considered quite mannerly in the deep south. Well up here in MIT country, information will save. If you have just insulted someone and need to save face, just claim information. As in:

My, You're looking fat today.

When the person responds with a look of shock and revulsion, simply reply:

Hey, It's just information. Do with it what you will.