Things I never thought I'd hear myself say

Again. That's two in one week.

"Pay attention and stop eating the grass!"

At a baseball game in which Lastborn thought it would be fun to eat large quantities of grass instead of play in the outfield as assigned.

I know that it won't make him throw up like it will the cat and I fondly remember chewing on a blade of tall grass as a child, but handfuls?

This is not OK.