An interview by a 4th grader

For school, Lastborn was asked to interview a family member over Thanksgiving break, and then write a piece from what he learned about the person. Lastborn chose to interview his Grandfather - and the result is rather funny.

Grandpa Ross


Have you ever had to live on a farm and had to clean chicken poop, or had to be drafted into the Korean War? Well my Grandpa Ross did. Grandpa’s favorite holiday is Christmas, because everyone is so happy in the holidays and everybody looks forward to church meetings. Grandpa Ross had a powerful father and a mother who kept the house neat and tidy, Grandpa had many difficult chores like caring for chickens and much more. He went to school at Deerfield Grammar School in Deerfield, Illinois. Grandpa had scarlet fever in the fourth grade so he had a lot of work to do to catch up. A role model of Grandpa’s is a farmer next door who was elderly. The farmer is Grandpa’s role model because he did a lot of things while working as a police chief. His goal was to reach college and he did, then a small amount of time after he graduated he was drafted into the Korean War. Grandpa Ross says there are mountains in the north part of the country, as you get closer to China the mountains get higher. A big river in Korea is the Haun River that runs through the capital of Korea. The people in Korea were very poor so they sold dogs to the GIs (soldiers) then when the dogs get bigger the people would steal and eat them, then try to sell more puppies to the same GIs. Grandpa was at the MLR (main line of resistance) for 5 months. After WWII (World War 2) Korea was split in 2 parts, North and South. This split was done at the 38th Parallel or 38 degrees latitude. The only time Grandpa was south of the 38th parallel was after the shooting stopped and Grandpa’s outfit, the 5th Regimental Combat Team, was moved to Pusan, a town way south. Grandpa spent a total of 15 months in Korea and was happy to leave. Grandpa’s favorite time of day is the morning because he gets a lot of work done. He is retired but he can do a lot of things he couldn’t do while working. His most treasured memories are his experiences in Korea. I bet you’ll drive all the way to Schenectady to meet Grandpa Ross.

It's always interesting what these kids will bring from a conversation. Lastborn was asked to follow up his interview with more questions about Korea. So one of the questions he asked Grandpa was if he saw any wild animals in Korea. That's when Grandpa wrote about the dogs. Of all the things he wrote for the follow up questions, I knew that Lastborn would take this as the most important gem. Parent conferences happen in a couple of weeks. I can't wait to hear the teacher's reaction. And if I notice a group of parents laughing while gathered around a piece of writing attached to the wall in the hallway outside her door, I will know that the essays were posted and that they are reading Lastborns.

The hustle and bustle of 4th grade. An essay

I possitively, absolutely dislike school! I have to wake up at five o'clock. I have to hurry to hockey at five o'clock! and I have school at nine (I usually have to climb the chimney). I guess it kind of qualifies for quality. I can't deny that usually I am pretty funny. It's not the teachers or anything, I just hate school!

Mom's note: while this paragraph doesn't hold well together, you've got to give him credit for the topic and clincher sentences. And how would you fit chimney into that topic if it were you?

This was an early paragraph by Firstborn.


I can't wait to go to the Great Barrier Reef! I can't wait to see the tentacled species and other animals! What if I discover a new school of fish, because people say that seventy five percent of the worlds' areas are submerged in water and that we've only discovered fifteen percent. What if I could save an endangered species?! I just can't get my mind off going to the coral reef with my brother!

Paragraphia

"I am an apprentice in wizardology. I am best at divination: I can tel how the future of the royal family is, and I am their loyal protector of their future. I am also the prophecy maker. I can tell the future by looking at the stars and ground, and seeing if it is common or not. I am also a loyal friend of Merlin. I am the guardian of the balance between good and evil. I am also good at stuff like potions and charms. I'm always looking for more adventures. I live wherever the wind takes me or the future (north, south, east, and west). The only thing is is that surprisingly, I am only an apprentice. "

It never fails to amaze me how he makes these words fit together. Although I have never heard of checking the future by looking at the ground and when I asked him what the ground looked like when it is common, he could not clearly answer. He kind of rolled his eyes at me like, "Mom. You don't know anything."

And then, just when you are thinking that this young genius is so advanced in his vocabulary, he reminds you that he's just a boy with phrases like "good at stuff like." It's important for a 4th grade boy to be "good at stuff like..."

The best party ever

To me, the finest art in these fourth grade paragraphs is how to put these words together into a single plot. It's amazing what Firstborn comes up with. Really.

Remember the best party ever? Yeah, we had some great trout and cherries. The memories are still there too. The food attracted animals and we had a really fun battle against the wolves and monkeys. we battled them with axes, caught them with sacks and put them on shelves. We had the time of our lives.

Adopting dog after foreclosure

Firstborn's spelling paragraph for 2/25/07

Today, I rolled out of bed; It was a special day for me. As long as I do all of my chores, I could adopt a pet. I haven't decided if it would be a canine or a feline, but from life experience it would just give me more pleasure. Then, still in January, I heard a startling discovery. They were trying to foreclose on us! Then I discovered the rare julip plant. I sold it for enough money to quit the foreclosure. I planted an acre more, therefore it will never happen again. I finally decided on a lovable red wolf. Then, an hour later, I got home and slept until another adventure arrives.

I love the way he always seems to slip his "life experiences in there."

The end is near

Another installment in the 4th grade spelling-word essay series.

What if we were wrong about how we live? I think that it was actually the shockwave from a meteor that made enough oxygen to last a few millenia. What if it was released like a kind of invisible, magical pollen. What if their prehistoric remains do it too? I at least know that some new creature will be emerging soon. I have seen it, the end is coming soon. For generations we have lived in this striking world, but now I hesitate to do everything and misunderstand alot. My tip is to expect the unexpected and unusual.

Paragraphia II

Another installment in the paragraph assignment saga.

Do you know what my job is? I have to protect the last of the worlds roaming mythological beasts, (but not three headed dogs). I have to create shelters for them. I have to cure the few that are wounded. I have to earn their kinship. I have to return order between beast and man. Finally, I have to stop this tear-down-the-rainforest business. Have you guessed what my job is yet? If you haven't, it is with the Secret and Ancient Society of Dragonologists (S.A.S.D.).

Paragraphia

An installment in a series of paragraphs Firstborn must write weekly. These paragraphs use 15 of his 25 weekly spelling words.

One night my mother volunteered to work at a kennel. The scent of dogs bored her, but she was a responsible instructor. She found a pair of hungry raccoons through a thick board and sent them flying because they were trying to eat the dogs. Then, the next day she found a young student truly trying to loosen a wool coat. She helped him, and he smoothened the wool and gave it to her. She did many things to help around the campus like that and soon she had so many items she did not need to get paid. Then she sold them all and became a billionaire, except she did not sell the wool. The goods led her to a route of good fortune and responsibility.